This past weekend Blogher was in my backyard. I couldn't justify the money to go to the entire thing, but I was able to be +1 for some friends and still get the general experience. What I missed I heard/read about.
What did I think of my first Blogher?
I'm disgusted with "mommy" bloggers.
These women acted with an air of entitlement and superiority that made my stomach turn. As I sat in the lobby I was grateful that I didn't have a Blogher tag so that other non-bloggers didn't think I was with that group.
The Mommy Blogger eyes were glazed over as they carried their bags and bags of swag. I heard them bitch about how small/sad some of the FREE stuff they got was. They wanted more, expected more, DEMANDED more. They were Mommy Bloggers dammit! They had power!
What they fail to remember is that all it takes is one broken condom for the rest of the female bloggers to become a mommy blogger.
These Mommy bloggers are no better than any other female blogger. I don't think that because my ovaries produced life that I am a better writer, more important, deserve more FREE products then any single/childless woman blogger.
Women have been having children for millions of years and they will continue to do so when the internet is dead and gone.
When I read about the Nikon incident I was appalled. Mommy bloggers were enraged that they couldn't bring their babies to a late night FREE cocktail party! How dare Nikon reserve a bar that doesn't let minors in! One mom even said;
"Plus, babies are pretty portable - they sleep anywhere"
Um...my daughter could fall asleep in a box at the corner of a street, doesn't mean I leave her out there with a "please watch over me" sign.
The Nikon situation was compared to the Bayer incident, another moment when Mommy bloggers rallied together to take down the "man".
Remember folks Bayer and Nikon are what's evil in the world.
*slow clap*
Have you Mommy bloggers ever thought about teaming up for something that actually MATTERS? I would love to see #helpstopchildhunger the next time I am on Twitter instead of #Nikonhatesbabies.
Oh and don't go thinking this is just me. There are a bunch of "moms that blog"that are blogging their disgust on Mommy bloggers and some are going as far as to DELETE their blogs about being a mom. Unfortunately I can't do that since my only blog's url, Twitter name, & blogger cards are all mom based. So instead I will just let the internet know my opinion;
Seriously ladies. Get over yourself.
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35 comments:
100% agreement. I had to deal with some of those parents during my scouting years. "Sorry ma'am, your 'precious' is no more special than the rest of these kids, she sleeps on the ground in her tent - no cots allowed. Why did you join scouts anyway?"
Love the 'please watch over me' box sign. You should stage it and photograph, with someone else's child, of course - can't have Social Services on you :)
I don't think I understand the whole BlogHer thing - is it a weekend-long party people pay to go to? I guess I must be one of the non-entitled mommy bloggers for not having a clue about this.
And agreed, being a mom is great and all but it sure as shit doesn't make you special. Now Octomom, on the other hand...
I don't typically read Mommybloggers simply because I have nothing to relate to them, but I have stumbled across a few, and seriously, just because their child shit their pants like any other diaper ridden kid does, it doesn't make them special. If you turn "childs name" into "dogs name" I could read it all day long. They have this air of superiority because their kid is just so damn special, just like every other kid in the whole damn world. You know, if your kid does something actually newsworthy or especially cute to the people that you aren't related to, please talk about it on your blog.
I think part of it is because a lot of the non-blogging community has heard of Mommybloggers and thinks that those are the only bloggers and somehow that has gone to their heads. Personal bloggers or political bloggers or doggy bloggers are just as relevant and important to the community as mommybloggers, just less nauseating.
Wow, this is really wild- I missed out on all this drama over blogher, but holy...
From what I've seen there are bloggers who happen to be moms, and then there are the Mommy Bloggers- and I think the difference is largely in how they self describe and the attitude that follows.
I get why marketers want to target Mommy Bloggers with shwag, but I think it's resulted in a couple of weird dynamics. First, there's one group of bloggers with completely disproportionate "power" and second the MONETIZEMONETIZEMONITIZE!!! route for blogging is written in as the only path for serious bloggers.
I do understand why this is, and one day I'll probably put ads back on my site, but for now I love having no ads what so ever- just content. I skip over everyone's review and brand enthusiast posts because I love all the blogs I read... but at the end of the day I want to know what people have to say, not what products they're hawking. Especially if one of those products is their kids.
Yes. That is all.
Love this. There is a BIG difference between being a mom who blogs and a mommy blogger. YOU are a mom who blogs. Another one I read, Jen on the Edge, is a mom who blogs. I can't stomach mommy bloggers.
Ok - I missed something. I had no idea Blogher was for mommy bloggers. WTF...how does popping a child out of your vagina entile you to anything more than the rest of the world???
every year i read blogher stories and i think "whoa. drama. aren't these women, like, grown-ups?"
i actually do read a few mommy bloggers. do you read amalah.com? she's hilarious is mostly why i read her, and also her kids are adorable. she was at blogher, she took her baby, and she still seems to agree with you. so i guess you can rest assured that you're not the only one.
I agree 100% ... I actually get sick of all the "Mommy Blogs" out there. I don't have children, and even if I did, the last thing I want to do is read about how Johnny and Suzy went poo-poo in the potty. I live in Utah... I hear plenty about other people's kids ALL THE TIME... you know, cuz everyone over the age of 20 has at least 5 little ones running around!
I was kinda bummed that I didn't find out about BlogHer until the week before and wouldn't have been able to go anyway. After reading this, I'm glad I didn't even have the chance to waste my money!
Great post Rachel :)
The blogosphere would be a better place without mommybloggers. The only bloggers who even come close to producing as much contempt from me are those yuppie 22 year olds who are "career-experts." Both groups should die in a fire. Or at least their computers.
Great post. More people need to hold up the mirror to the mommybloggers.
Barbara- I'm halfway tempted to take that picture
Nicole- It's a conference for women. It's supposed to focus on quality blogs, how to improve your blog, getting your blog out there, etc. There is Lobbycon which is like an expo geared towards women.
Dutchess- I completely agree that Mommy bloggers have had their popularity go to their head. One woman wrote that Mommy Bloggers need to come out of their little bubble and realize that the rest of the internet world is starting to hate them.
Kyla- Mommy bloggers have sold out and just want stuff. I enjoy trying out stuff, but when I had a rush of people wanting to give me stuff I hated it. Every post would have been a review!
Renee- thanks!
Lacey- neither can I, ugh.
Jenn- it wasn't created for Mommy Bloggers, they just shouldered their way in.
Courtney- I'm always glad to hear about another logical Mama :)
Ms. Salti- I try very hard to be respectful to my IRL friends without kids when it comes to Diana. They don't need to hear about everything happening with her.
Jenn- thanks!
TOPolk- Mommy Bloggers need to get out of their bubbles and see that their reputation is severely tarnished.
Well done. I was at the last BlogHer conference in Chicago and sat... or at least tried to sit at the mommy bloggers table. I was thinking "what a great set of MILFS to talk to!" NOT THE CASE. They all but told me that their shit didn't stink and to fuck off.
Crystal was confused as to what group she should put herself into. NOT THAT GROUP!
Wow, Rachel, way to throw down!
As someone who works for an industry that often requires catering to and/or understanding mom bloggers, this is awesomely useful insight. I thought BlogHer was supposed to be about strengthening the community, not dividing the spoils of war?
And for the record, I would consider you a blogger who is a mom, not a momblogger. Maybe someday we can all think of proper wording to help us distinguish who is who.
I read some blogs of people who are moms who blog. Women who have lives and happen to have children. It sortve weirded me out to read a couple places about women who went to the BlogHer conference, left their kids with the hubby/baby daddy/whatever and were in tears to leave their kids for a couple days. But, I have said time and again that my childfree life view makes me a freak among women.
There must be people who read and adore mommmyblogger blogs. They are a "niche", I guess.
I'd like to go to the BlogHer convention or something similar just for the experience, but everything I've read about it thusfar makes me glad I didn't know about/make it to this one.
Every year I get jealous b/c I want to go to BlogHer but can't. And every year I hear about the drama that went on there and feel glad that I didn't bother.
Mr. McKnob- I don't view her in that group either.
Nico- 90% of the people that go there go for the swag. Oh and the proper word for me? Awesome ;)
Darkstar- I went through that teary mom stage when Diana was younger, but now I just drink my worries away ;)
Cassie- if you know people or are meeting people it can be fun. But don't go there thinking you are going to learn a bunch of new stuff.
Now I am scared of mommy bloggers. Not you of course.
It is unfortunate that this incident happened, but it was an innocent mistake made by Nikon. I wouldn't be surprised if next year mommy bloggers show up with .45 in their purses.
Couldn't have said it better myself. I read about that Nikon incident when you twittered about it, and I was floored. Worse, I couldn't believe that people were calling for someone to get fired. Are you kidding me? The only thing that would prove is how selfish said party-goers were, that if they can't go and enjoy then no one should be able to.
To me, BlogHer should be less about mommy status and more about women showing support for women. And speaking of, I'm saddened that because I'm a man, I'm not welcome at such events (correct me if I'm wrong here, but my understanding is that because I don't blog constantly about women's issues, I would not be allowed to attend). And I'm a feminist at that! (Yes, men can be feminists, seriously.) Sigh.
And for the record, I do call you Awesome.
Kyla said it right: "... There are bloggers who happen to be moms, and then there are the Mommy Bloggers."
There was an article on the FRONT PAGE of a newspaper here a month or so ago on Mommy Bloggers, and how they're making it 'cool to have kids' because of ALL THE FREE STUFF THEY GET.
Disastrously. Wrong. Message.
Lbluca- considering one elbowed a baby in the HEAD I wouldn't be surprised either
Phil- you are allowed to come, but to be honest I don't think it would be to your benefit
sarahdotcom- seriously, that makes me speechless.......
What's with all the anger though? Mommy bloggers were angry so they spewed anger and the rest of the women bloggers got angry at the mommy bloggers and now are spewing anger... It's kind of like a pot and kettle thing, only neither side seems to see the animosity they're both projecting and creating.
How about instead of "mommy bloggers suck", we say "arrogant, entitled bashers ruin the party"? I don't think whether or not spawn was forced out of their lady bits contributed to whether or not they're a*******, did it? Or am I wrong? Because this seems to be like a room full of women, some of whom have babies and some of whom don't all in agreement about... what exactly?
Who among those of you who went wrote a letter to Nikon thanking them for their support? If all of you who didn't hate the party did that, maybe you wouldn't lose a sponsor.
Sorry if this post was a little condescending, but really, it bugs me as a woman that a roomful of women always ends in bitching, gossiping and backbiting. It's not cool. Makes us look like... well... crazy bitches.
JMO, of course. Sorry if I offend.
I'm with prin. My favorite post on the melee was Amalah's and SHE was the one whose baby got elbowed! But she didn't use a broad brush to bash every one else. Is everyone really convinced that it was ONLY mommies grabbing for stuff? And I still haven't figured out the difference between mommy bloggers and moms who blog.
As far as I can tell, cool moms who blog are not mommy bloggers? The A-listers as it were? I just don't get it.
Prin- you weren't there and your blogging style doesn't have you grouped with mommy bloggers so of course you don't have a heavy opinion. I am angry at the behavior that I saw first hand and the fact that when someone reads my blog title they thing I am similar. You would be angry if someone saw your dog picture and grouped you in with a puppy mill blogger. It's about a negative group that makes the rest of us look bad. I'm not going to excuse someone's behavior just because I'm the same gender as someone.
Bad behavior is bad behavior no matter who you are.
St- Trust me, once you find a Mommy Blogger you will know. I can't explain it. Am I paint with a broad brush? Sadly, it's not as broad as you think. I have to deal with these women way too often. I also have to deal with companies that approach me like I am a mommy blogger;
"Here! Free stuff! You like free stuff! Don't ask question! Free stuff!"
I hate it.
Can't fight hate with hate, Rachel.
What the world needs now is love, sweet love...
So probably none of the bloggers I read are mommy bloggers? Even though they're moms who blog about their kids (incl boogers and poop) and have ads and sometimes review things? Or take free rental cars and tweet lots of grand things about them? (These are bloggers I love and reviews and whatnot do not bother me)
I like what prin said:
How about instead of "mommy
bloggers suck", we say "arrogant, entitled bashers ruin the party"?
Because it separates things out a bit. The broad term "mommy bloggers" encompasses more than just the creepy bottom-rung swag-grubbers. And plus, it confuses me. And I matter. Now give me some stuff.
As much as I'd love for one of my blogs to pay for itself (and be a form of income for me)... the idea of have people approach me with all sorts of free shit definitely loses its appeal when they want me to turn my blog (something that is personal to me) into some sort of marketing campaign for them. I'm not about that. And I definitely don't feel because I blog, regardless of having kids or kittens, that I should feel entitled to get free stuff.
Yeah, I loved the swag from BlogHer. I walked away with a lot of stuff and I was definitely like a little kid, all excited and whatnot. But really, I could have done without it (though I'd expect LobbyCon to be SO much cheaper if there wasn't swag -- mostly because I felt I was paying for access to "free" stuff, the few parties I went to, and the few keynotes they had on the TVs in the bar for the LC people -- which I never saw more than 15 people there).
Anyway. There definitely is this community of women who feel superior because they're mommy bloggers -- and they've got loud voices. So we hear about them a lot. It's why people think BlogHer is for mommies.
Honestly, I'd rather just forget the conference (I'll miss my free Play-Doh and kiwis), and just visit with my friends. I'd save money and have just as much fun...
...bah, sorry for rambling in your comments Rachel...
Oh, and btw, the only blog I have public at the moment is a religion blog where I hash out thoughts of religion vs science and common sense to prove they all can be friends, and that blog not only lumps me in with Christian bloggers but also, most people who hit my profile end up having my god blog as the foundation of their first impression of me... Maybe I'm wrong, but as far as stirring up heavy opinions and judgment, I don't think anything tops being categorized with hellfire and damnation bloggers... :D That doesn't stop me from writing and me from being me and it won't cause me to hate on them either.
I also won't hate the mass majority who aren't willing to step beyond their judgments and read my blog past the first title of the first post on the page...
Whether you're lumped in as a mommy blogger is of no consequence. People will find you for your content not for your offspring and diaper stories, and if they can't get past the "mom" in the title, do you really care? Your fans are fans because of you, not because you fit a category of blog they limit themselves to.
And if you're a mommy blogger, then change people's perceptions of what that means through your blog rather than being petty and bashy of those with whom you're categorized. Rather than saying "all mommy bloggers are like that," say, "Hey, this mommy blogger is NOT."
No?
Just thinkin' out loud here. :D
This is a BIG reason that I've never considered going to BlogHer. This year I'm thinking about going to NYC because so many of my friends are going, but I always thought of it as overly mommy-centric.
I love you, rachel, but most mom blogs bore me to tears. I don't have kids. I don't really like babies, and honestly I would NOT have been happy if I went to an event at a bar and there were babies around. I know that it's my responsibility to act like an adult wherever I go, blah blah, but if there's a bar (especially an open one) then you know it's going to get a little crazy.
People need to fucking get over themselves. They had kids-- it's their choice, but there are sacrifices as with anything.
woah, woah, woah. I know a LOT of moms who blog and they are perfectly fine, wonderful women. Yes, they blog about their kids, but they have other interests as well. While I don't like the term "mommyblogger" as it's used pejoratively, I am okay with being known as a mom who blogs.
There were a few bad apples and it's unfortunate that they get most of the coverage. Because MOST of the women there were awesome. And their attitudes are definitely not what BlogHer is about, IMO.
looooove it.
Prin- I'm sorry but you just aren't going to get me to budge on this, especially since I know that when it comes to animal stuff you can use just as broad of brush with your anger and disgust....and I actually fall under that brush I believe.
St- hahahaha ok, you're back in. That free stuff line at the end made me laugh.
rini- Amen sista!
Maxie- I'm thinking of going next year, but only to the Lobbycon and then play tourist the rest of the time (I've never been to NYC)
becky- oh I do believe that there were some awesome women there, even some awesome moms but the "bad" mommy bloggers are ALLOWED to behave this way, almost encouraged to. That's why I don't like Blogher, it encourages poor behavior.
Lilly- Looooove you
Well that was easy. ;)
You are wise. It's post like this one that make me love you, Rachel.
You're a puppymill? NOOOooooo...
As far as I see, Moxie is well loved. *shrug*
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