Step 1- Prepare yourself for the interview
I was tired when I woke up that morning. My internal clock had been thrown off by my night in The Devil's Waiting Room, Ohio. Luckily with this being an interview for retail I decided to go with my first interview personality.
I can give you two types of interviews, 1) The "Here I am, this is who I am" style or 2) The "Holy crap, I am so professional so you HAVE hire me...please?" style. I've only had success with type 1, type 2 comes out when I am horribly nervous.
After getting Diana off to school I threw on a pair of black pants, maroon top, black boots, and a star necklace (cause I'm a STAR!....I learned that from Glee). Unbeknownst to me I had apparently put on my hair magnet pants. Every time I looked down I had a cat's worth of hair on my legs. Then I started to have mystery dustings on my knees. I would wack my legs to rub it off, hit my knee Boo-boo (from Duck Duck Goose....stupid Ohio), swear a bunch and STILL have stuff on my pants. Finally I gave up and headed out.

Step 2- Get interviewed
I was 15 minutes early so I told them my name and settled in with my book. After a while they called me in, commenting on me being prepared with a book. I promptly told them that this was a good reason to hire me.
Laughs all around.
No seriously.....
As I went into the room the worker introduced me to the interviewer.
"Sally this is Kathy, Kathy this is Sally."
..................
"Why hello Kathy!"
"Actually my name is Rachel."
"Oh! I am soooo sorry! I just need to get your file...."
"Well if Kathy was going to get the job I'm perfectly willingly to be Kathy."
Laughs all around.
But seriously.......
After we had the right file she started to ask me the basic interview questions. Finally she asked me;
"Why do you want to work for our company?"
What I wanted to say- "Because you guys are the only people that called me back! The economy sucks!"
What I really said- "Your company is known to be professionals. It's clean, well kept, the products are high quality and reasonably priced."
She nodded enthusiastically. Then I said;
"....and I really love Project Runway....."
The second the words left my mouth I could feel my cheeks get hot. Did I really just say that? Do they really hire based off of what TV shows I could name that uses their products?
Well okay then.

Step 3- Nail interview
The actual interview lasted 5-7 minutes. They had me sit back outside while they talked about me. Two minutes later they brought me into another room;
"Well Sally was REALLY impressed with you."
Seriously? She asked me about three questions and I impressed her? Awesome!
"So you signed up to work nights?"
"Wait, what? Um....no."
"Oh you want to work early mornings?"
"What are those hours?"
"5 am till whenever."
*cue record scratch*
5 am?! Ohhhhhh man. When they stepped out of the room I sent a text saying Got job 5 am start okay?
Nothing came back
When they came back in I had to make a decision. Someone had to take Diana to school in the mornings. I knew that Frank's job was a seasonal one that was ending soon and that Dan has some flexibility. So I came to a conclusion. We could use more money (honestly who couldn't use more money) and no one was hiring. Everyone was going to have help out.
"I can do 5 am." *gulp*
"Congratulations you are the new On Call Early Merchandising Support Staff!"
"Yippee!"
...............
Oh god, why am I allowed to speak?

Step 4- Call family and tell them the good news!
As I left I checked to see if Dan ever answered my text, then I realized that since I had been in a basement it never sent. Well shoot.
I called him and told him the good news.
"Wait, you are On Call?"
"Yep!"
"Well they are at least going to call you earlier then the night before if they need you right?"
".........."
"Right?"
"Dan, I'm not a doctor. I'm working retail. I'm not going to have an emergency pager or a Bat phone."
"Yeah......that sounded wrong as soon as the words came out of my mouth."
"Trust me, I know exactly how you feel."

So what is your worst interview story?